another day like the day before

I have been going on and on like that for 2 months and 6 days. What a pathetic life. Move on? My friends told me to, he told me to, I thought of it too but if I do, there goes everything, there won't be any turning back anymore :( He said he moved on, but why does he have to do that? I thought we would keep on trying and trying but why did he have to walk away? Because of that girl? Why? I had always hated people asking me "Why" questions. Now I can't stop asking these myself. Why do you want me to explore other people? I thought I could latch onto you this life haha..aaaaaaargghh!!!!

I still remember that day, 1st of January 2012. That's not so good a way to celebrate the first day of a brand new year. I asked him "Do you love her more than me?" He nodded his head to the question, my heart breaks. I wonder why wouldn't I cry at that exact moment but when everytime when Im thinking back about it myself, I would.

She sings "Nevermind I'll find someone like you, I wish nothing but the best for you too, Dont forget me I beg, I remembered you said something it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead" Do I really have to find someone like you? Why can't it be you from the beginning to the end? He said there's no fairy tale in reality..but he was the one who put me in a fairy tale in the first place now to him, everything that happened was just a mistake. I thought Im loved all these times. I wont wish for that, I'm selfish, I'll only wish myself to be with you. Dont forget, yes I'm begging for that too. Can we not hurt, but last instead, please?

please remember me once more, I'm still here.