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now playing: Breakeven..
cause when a heart breaks,no it dont breakeven, even..no

I said I'm numb but I still have feelings :( I think I'm sick, I'm having a mental breakdown again..I wish I could shut down my mind for a week..to spare myself from one week's heartache
I shouldnt be studying but I didnt..the least I could do that benefit myself is go to sleep earlier, but still I didn't. I think it has become a habit, staying up till late night, my friends are all wondering what am I doing. I wondered too. I don't even love myself enough to stay health anymore. I shouldn't be doing this.

I just saw a tweet from him about her, I assumed..but I know I couldn't be wrong..I knew my guess wouldn't be wrong..there's no other explaination to that tweet.. Why....I don't remember you ever tweeted about me last time :( oh wait, there was...it was something bad when you hate me. I'm such a failure. I wanna close my eyes and swallow myself up so I don't have to go through all these now. Others would say I'm stupid cause I'm the one putting myself through it, I could have walk away..

I'm struggling through everyday but nevermind, I'll still pray that one day I'll find him back..maybe or maybe not..

I have a lot of fears in life. They say life is about chasing your fears away. I guess I did some recently. Learning to speak up though I did it at the wrong timing now, but still I learnt to do it. I learnt to light up a match, this one I'm pretty proud of myself. Cause I'm remember this is what's keeping me from lighting up a Bunsen burner in early year of secondary school life, only until now I'm 20 years old, I'd finally know how to do it. Well done, good job. Keep up the courage to try new things. I said to myself.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing..just pray to God... our heavenly father, I pray that.............in the name of Jesus I pray, Amen.