it's all my fault

i've ruined everything between us. im sorry for all the stupid things i did. i dont know what else can i do, u said there's nothing i can do now. i hope there's something i can do to save this. im so sorry. if it's possible that things will be ok back, i shall try my best, i shouldnt have hesitate in showing my feelings. i guess im just shy, i dont want to open up to anyone, and now i regret for being so passive. i wish..i wish i were bravier. i never knew that taking babysteps will make things look retarded to u. 5 days to christmas, i doubt this year's christmas will be good. it'll probably be the worst christmas for me. i know it would be a good one for u. i wish im the reason that ure happy. i wish everything will be ok by christmas, but still im afraid it'll just remained as a wish ungranted because i havent been good all these times, Santa doesnt like naughty kids. and after christmas, there'll be new year, i guess it will be a sad new year too, a bad beginning to a new year. but who can i blame other than myself. i wish everything will be ok soon, i wish to have a nice sleep every night and wake up happily every morning. i wish i wish i wish..i pray that everything will be alright.. is it going to be fine if i pray hard enough every night? im sorry...

SAturday nite!

whoo...so long time didnt update this. hmmm where should i start. let's start from my SPM result..it is the happiest thing that i have experienced lately. Satisfied, not too bad, enough to make myself and my family happy and proud, that's enough already :) thank you for everything

holiday's bored.i hate someone.annoying. i feel so useless cause i've been wasting almost half year's time doing nothing at home. i hope i can really catch up once i started to study, just afraid that i cat study anymore, long time didnt study already, my brain rusted.

goin to Khidmat Negara soon.i thought it's goin to be in my hometown but turns out to be kota belud. extremely disappointed cause nobody will visit me and i need to bring loads of stuffs. what a burden. and this programme seems to crash with my studies plan.

ok enough until here.goodnite.

GoNNa be Ok :)

im gonna be ok, gonna be ok, i'll be ok, gonna be ok~ today i watched a korean show : Qualification of mens..there was a man named Lee GyeongGyu who said Dont Leave Your Burdens When They're Heavy

hmm..it's so boring.. well, lately i've watched some matches of FIFA WORLD CUP 2010 in SOUTH AFRICA, this is the first time i open myself to football matches..haha..it isnt as bad as i thought anyway. I prefer to watch them alone but the problem is i just dont understand the game's rules and i dont know what's goin on..haha..but still it's quite good to watch...World Cup..it's held once every 4 YEARS ONLY..like i've heard from my father: you wont be sure if you're still alive by the next 4 years..so i decided to watch and feel the atmosphere. So emm..follow you heart and do what you wanna do when you still have the time..dont hesitate..JUST DO IT :)

4 days left till holiday ends...i didnt do much studies in the holiday..i regret now.. T.T im always like that..haih..if i could only use my time wisely..but i have no self control..to myself: PLEASE STUDY..the future is in your hands..and you dont want to end up admiring people who achieved success in life, do you?

IT HAS TO BE YOU.. me??hehe..

till here. Bye :]

disappoinment

life is full of disappointment lately...most of them are due to my test marks... disappointed again & again...i felt tired...im all stressed up inside...is it im still not doing my best or that was alrdy my best...haihhhh...there're lots of things i regret in my life..small small stuff i also feel regret...yup tats me, something wrong or should i say CACAT

i didnt blog for a long time...something weird happened...whn im typin the 1st line, my heart suddenly beats vr hard xD

addmaths test n physics test are coming...can i make it...or will i end up wif disappointment again...i 've got a bad feeling now...i dont think i can do it...but ppl always say never give up until lazminute...

clazmates and evn teacher are spreading rumours bout me n a fren...bad people...gRR

tml got acc claz n afternoon gt tt =( no sufficient time for nap

im NOT HAPPY =(

Something wrong

today is our sch's sports day...took a lot of photos...mostly are friends...and first time acted like a crazy girl in sport complex thre...running in the rain wif friends...goin in front of the track to take photos

bad news

bad news: he's still not found yet...evrybody must pray for him to be found..it's alrdy the 8th/9th day since he was last seen..

im so bored...i went out today from 8am until 4.30 i return home..i feel sick..i guess it wasn't realy sick...it's just......tired..walkin walkin walkin..

=P i dont have a nice feeling of this..things are always gettin worse for me..i wonder whre am i after 5 years..and how am i at that time...hope evrthings fine.. migrating to australia.. is this a good idea??a friend suggested me to do this in the future.. sure it is good if u hv all the $$$ in hands.. but sadly i dont think i hv enough to do that...well i guess i should hv just stay in sandakan...and enjoy the peacefulness here... =) it's not that bad, is it?? =]

actualy i wished that i can go back to the time im just 7 years old..imagine if i had studied hard tat time, will i be more clever now??xD

the end of this holiday is drawing nearer..soon evrybody will be panic and prepare all the school stuffs..guess not evrybody, im the only who panic tat much..haha..goin to stdy in form5E nxt year...im a bit scared coz the toilet is so far awayyyyyy...what if i get a stomache..God Bless Me dont get a stomache..

goin to sleep now...today's a tiredsome day..should treat myself a good night sleep and shouldn't be straining my eyes at here..

Holiday-ing

Almost half of my sch holiday's gone and i still havent study anything yet...am so lazy...evryday sits in front the comp...msn + facebook .. sometimes until almost 1am

evry morning i wake up with red eyes and running nose...is tat a sign of lack of sleep? but sometimes evn if i slp earlier than tat n wake up late i stil get those red eyes n running nose..ahh...wat's wrong wif me..

thre's something happy bout holiday too..recently am addicted to badminton.. thanks to my friends ..haha..they brought this into my life..i wish i could get better in this =) 4 times of badminton outing liao ... in just 2 weeks .. glad to have it..but will stop for some time coz some of my friends are leaving to kl... i start to like badminton.. nw i regret for my past years' holidays coz i din use them for badminton...haha... although erytime the day after badminton wil get muscle pain , it's worth of it... a lot of fun is gained =D and emm.. got a feeling like got closer wif some friends tat im nt so close to for laz few years although we're in the same class...